Place Them on the Altar

for medium Voice and piano

2022

Commissioned by the Boulder Arts Commission, an agency of Boulder City Council.

Place Them on the Altar, a cabaret song cycle by poet Tessa Romano (they/them) and composer Silen Wellington (they/he), traces the poet's experience of coming into their non-binary identity. Written from the perspective of the poet, the first song - "Their Hair" - contains an extended moment of queer joy as they shave their head for the first time and allow hair to grow back onto their legs. Song two, "Beauty in Many Names", follows the poet discovering gender inclusive ways to call themselves beautiful and handsome in several languages that are steeped in the gender binary, including the languages of their ancestral lineage. "Tyler" shows the experience of a cisgender person coming to grips with their partner's emergence into their nonbinary identity. This song contains moments of transphobia as the main cis character eventually finds their way to compassion, acceptance, and introspection. The final song is a moment of ritual gratitude as the poet sheds the words and labels that no longer serve them and chooses the new words for their identity that will allow them to grow.

Text for all movements (by Tessa Romano)

i. Their Hair: A Coming Out Song

You fell
thick curls on cool tile
shoulder furred.
Fingers clasp your constant lance,
release, weight, heat.
Cloak of false femininity,
She is
but not at all.

Inhale, exhale,
relief.
She is
but not at all.

“Why would you cut your beautiful curls?”
“What need for the change?”
“How come?”

Because,
caught in the net of woman —

Follicles pulled tight, the trap.How to shapeshift
when the heat of binary
used to hang heavy
heavy to shoulders,
Curl culled from scalp
now emerge brown from thigh.

She is
but not at all.

Wind rustles soft at ankle,
tickles scalp,
Worn short now the image
of binary released,
Sheared to a new beauty
and grown handsome from there.

She is
but not at all.

ii. Beauty in Many Names

If I were in Naples,
I’d swap bella for bellę.

In Buenos Aires,
trade hermosa for hermose.

Take me to Rio,
And I’d bandy bonita for bonite.

Were I in Paris, not belle 
But belleau I would be.

In Mumbai,
I’m always sundar.

iii. Tyler

with a nod to “Johnny” by Benjamin Britten & W.H. Auden

Oh, the garden in the springtime where
I and my Kate
Beside the shallow creek
would walk down the straight.
While with the fern at our feet 
and the tūī up above,
She turned so sweet and she 
anxiously
said—

“I identity not as a woman
but as nonbinary instead.”

No, no my dear, 
That’s not real.
I know you better than you yourself.

Oh, that Sunday at supper
as I well recall,
You told me your pronouns weren’t she/her at all.
You said—
“Use they/them from now on.”

I laughed and I barked,
No, no, no my dear, dear, dear Kate,
That makes no sense at all.
They/them is plural so you see,

Language is legacy
a grammatical tradition to uphold.
Think of the children—

I know you better than you yourself.

I shall never forget 
that night at the grand drag ball,
Sparkles and sequins fell from each shawl.
A million glittering stars 
dancing flames in the sea.
I chuckled and thought
What men could these be?

You turned and said—
“It is now Tyler I would like to be.”

Who is this Tyler? 
You’ve been Kate all along.
What does this mean for me 
if you’re not a woman?

Surely this can’t be good for your health.
I know you better than you know yourself.

[Tyler’s voice]
“I am a gift that you can’t perceive.
We have been here all along
Why so hard to believe?”

Oh, last night I dreamed of you
Tyler, my lover.
You’d a boy on one arm 
and a girl on the other.
Your smile it was bright
as your shorn hair shown true,
a wall in between us
I felt so blue.

Ten thousand miles deep
in a pit there I lay,
Mourning without you
that I’ll never be gay.

Stranger within me
you cannot help.

You know you better than me myself.

iv. Place Them on the Altar

I take she/her
crumble it in my hand,
Recycle for someone else to find.

I take woman
and rip it into three.
Gather girl and daughter
place them on the altar, alter
Thank them 
and burn.

I contemplate
mother for future,
Fold into swan and
drop into sea.

I hold sister
kiss, blow.
Barter sibling 
for quibling,
Place them on the altar.

Collect they/them 
and put it in my pocket
for safe keeping.